Sunday, April 25, 2010
A good back scratch is an excellent thing
A back RUB is nice. I enjoy a back rub. But when given a choice between a back rub and a back scratch, I will take a back scratch every time.
I own a couple of back scratching devices so I can scratch my own back. The best ones are made out of wood. You can buy them for a dollar. They work okay, but offer only modest satisfation. The best people for back scratchers are those with long fingernails. People who bite their nails are almost worthless.
If there were a device available like the one shown on this page, I would buy it.
One very significant reason to have a spouse is to have a live-in back scratcher. People who crave back scratches should avoid marrying someone who is reluctant to scratch. Kids are good, too, but they often don't have much patience, so they are kind of a hit-and-miss thing.
I do not own a dog. But if a dog could be taught to scratch backs, I would definitely get one.
There are many businesses where you can pay for a back rub. But I have never seen one where you can pay for a back scratch. If there were such a business, I would be a good customer.
A TERRIBLE THING TO A PERSON LIKE ME who craves back scratches is to be in the same room as someone who is getting one. It's almost painful to watch, because you start thinking of how good it feels, and then your back really, really starts to itch, and you can hardly stand it.
If I were as rich as Bill Gates, I would hire a full-time back scratcher. I would give the person other chores, too, because you need frequent breaks from back scratches so your mind can have time to crave another one. Part of the pleasure of a good back scratch is the anticipation of getting it. As far as the actual back scratch, the first 90 seconds are by far the best. This is when you get goose bumps. When you no longer get goose bumps, then a back scratch is still good but it's more of a relaxing thing than a stimulator of dopamine, the feel-good drug your body releases during great pleasure.
Now that I have written this, I really need a back scratch. If you like back scratches, then you probably do, too. Sorry about that.
So what do you prefer? A back scratch or a back rub?
Posted by Staff Report at 4/25/2010 08:42:00 AM